Couples and relationship counselling
Couples counselling in Burnaby & online across BC
Understanding each other doesn’t mean agreeing on everything.
Tell us what’s going on and we’ll match you with the right person, usually within one business day. No referral needed, and many extended health plans cover sessions.
What the argument is usually about
Most conflict between partners isn’t really about the dishes, the schedule, or who said what. It’s two people each waiting to feel accepted by the other, and defending against the fear that they won’t be.
Our relationship work starts with accepting your partner as a whole person (their fears, their history, the parts of them that frustrate you) while staying completely free to address specific behaviour that isn’t working. Accepting the person and negotiating the behaviour aren’t in tension; they’re two different questions, and most couples arrive here having tangled them together for years.
This isn’t tolerance for harm, and it isn’t a substitute for boundaries. This kind of acceptance is fully compatible with saying no, with real consequences, and, when needed, with choosing to leave. For couples ready to find their way back to each other, it’s often the fastest way through old patterns of blame and defensiveness toward actually feeling understood.
You might be here because…
- The same argument keeps happening with different details
- One of you raises it, the other goes quiet, and nothing resolves
- You’re more careful with each other than you used to be, and it feels like loss
- Something broke trust, and you don’t know whether it can be repaired
- You’re good parents and barely a couple any more
Couples usually wait years longer than they needed to. Coming in early is not an overreaction.
What working on this looks like
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A free consultation
We talk about what’s going on and whether we’re the right fit. No cost, no obligation, and no pressure to book a session at the end of it. Your consent form and intake questionnaire arrive when you book, so the conversation isn’t spent on paperwork.
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The first few sessions
We find the pattern, not the culprit. That usually means hearing each of you describe the same event and noticing where it diverges, which is where the work actually is. Expect to be interrupted gently when the old loop starts.
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The ongoing work
Sessions are 60 minutes with both partners present, sometimes with an individual session each early on. The aim isn’t to stop disagreeing. It’s to disagree without either of you concluding you’re not accepted.
Who you’d work with
Nelson leads our couples and family work, and is currently waitlisting new clients. Lucas, through Incourage Institute, also works with couples, at reduced rates and with no wait.
Nelson Szeto
MCP, RCC-ACS
Couples and families in conflict, including the pull between family expectation and personal identity. Not high-conflict separation. Currently waitlisting new clients.
Lucas Lee
Counselling Intern
Couples where the love isn’t the question but the conversations have stopped working. Reduced, sliding-scale, and pro bono rates.
Not sure which of us is the better fit? Tell us what’s going on and we’ll suggest someone →
Fees and coverage
- Initial consultation (30 min)Free
- Couples session (60 min)From $185
- Through Incourage Institute, with a supervised intern$50 / $25 / pro bono
Couples sessions are the same fee as individual sessions. Two people get the same care and effort as one, not more and not less.
Counselling provided by a Registered Clinical Counsellor is GST-exempt. Many extended health plans cover RCC services. It’s worth checking your plan for “Registered Clinical Counsellor” specifically, since some plans list only psychologists.
Already a client here? Book your next session in Jane →
Common questions
Do you work with high-conflict separation or custody disputes?
No. Nelson doesn’t take on high-conflict divorce or separation cases, and we don’t do court-ordered or custody assessment work. Our couples focus is relationships that are struggling but still oriented toward staying together. If that’s not where you are, tell us when you get in touch and we’ll point you toward someone better suited.
What if only one of us wants to come?
That’s workable, and more common than people expect. Individual work on a relationship is real work: you can change a pattern from one side. We’d rather start with one of you than wait for both.
What if we decide to separate?
Then the work becomes doing that as decently as possible. Couples counselling isn’t a commitment to a particular outcome, and a therapist pushing you toward one isn’t doing the job.
Do I need a referral?
No. You can book counselling in British Columbia without a doctor’s referral. Some extended health plans ask for one before they reimburse, so it’s worth checking yours.
Do you offer sessions online?
Yes. Sessions are available in person at our Burnaby office and online to anyone located in British Columbia.
Ready when you are.
Tell us a little about what’s going on. We’ll suggest who on our team is the best fit and book your free consultation with you.
Takes about two minutes · We reply within one business day · No obligation to book
Current client? Book your next session in Jane →