Nelson Szeto

MCP, RCC-ACS (#7447) · Founder & Director

• Men’s counselling
• Couples & family conflict
• Anxiety and life transitions
• Asian Canadian identity and family expectation
• Clinical supervision

You’re the one who holds it together, for your partner, your family, the people at work who lean on you. But underneath the composure, there’s a story running on repeat: that you’re not enough, that conflict means catastrophe, that if you stop managing everything, it’ll all fall apart.

How I work

I work with individuals and couples who are exhausted from carrying that story alone, often the ones everyone else depends on, who’ve hit the point where “just managing it” has stopped working. Together, we’ll look at where that story came from, what it’s been protecting you from, and what becomes possible once you’re not carrying it by yourself.

I have particular affinity for working with Asian Canadians and couples navigating the space between family expectation and personal identity: the pressure to achieve, to keep the peace, to not bring shame, even when it costs you your own sense of self. I also work extensively with men, individually and in relationships, especially men who were taught that composure is the same thing as strength. Both experiences often share the same undercurrent: a self-acceptance that was never allowed to be unconditional in the first place, which is exactly where my work starts.

My approach

My approach centres on unconditional self-acceptance: not seeking approval of everything you do, and not giving up on change, but dropping the accomplishment-focused verdict about your worth so long-lasting change becomes possible from a place that isn’t conditional. With couples and families, the same acceptance extends outward to the people you love: accepting the whole person even while working through behaviour that needs to change.

This is grounded in Adlerian psychotherapy, Interpersonal Neurobiology, Polyvagal Theory, Attachment Theory, nervous system regulation, and deeper inner child work.

Background

I founded Incourage Counselling and have practised as a Registered Clinical Counsellor since 2012. As an Approved Clinical Supervisor and adjunct professor at City University and Adler University, I also train and supervise the next generation of counsellors. The frameworks I bring into our work together are ones I teach, not just apply.

Education and training

• Master of Counselling Psychology, Adler University, 2012
• Registered Clinical Counsellor (#7447), BC Association of Clinical Counsellors
• Approved Clinical Supervisor (RCC-ACS)
• Adjunct faculty, City University and Adler University

Who I’m not the right fit for

I don’t take on high-conflict divorce or separation cases, and I don’t do court-ordered or custody assessment work. My couples focus is relationships that are struggling but still oriented toward staying together. If what you’re facing is a high-conflict separation, tell us when you get in touch. We’d rather point you somewhere better suited than take you on and serve you badly.